My name is Xanthe Wyse. Diagnosed bipolar disorder (type), post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), social anxiety disorder.
The PTSD is mainly from 2 specific sexual traumas – child and adult.
I grew up with shame from religious indoctrination, other people’s hangups, abuse, trauma. Letting go of that shame has been therapeutic. Religious indoctrination that masturbation is sinful etc.
I have found some sex toys to be therapeutic. I never used them until my 40s. I find it hard to let go to orgasm. Happens more readily when my mood is elevated with bipolar and PTSD (mania, hypomania). When my mood is elevated I have a lot of hyperarousal energy. When I do, can orgasm for over an hour. For me, it is more about discharging the energy than sex.
I like wand vibrators for deep vibrations. Currently have a Love Honey extra powerful and a Doxy original vibrator (which is also more powerful than other vibrators). Both are mains powered. Other less powerful one was Bodywand Aqua – battery operated.
Wand vibrators can be used by men and women. I have mainly clitoral orgasms with them. Sometimes I listen to music to go into the trance-like state to ‘let go’ – also can go euphoric.
My preferred dildos are from Doc Johnson as they are flexible and very smooth. I have never been interested in a dildo that looks like a penis. I find a different kind of release to use the dildo after the wand vibrator. Squirting orgasms. Tend to sleep better after had the full release of both clitoral and squirting orgasms when I am very high energy.
I sometimes use yoni eggs. If use one, get from a reputable supplier with safe materials. My physiotherapist said to only use them sparingly and not to walk around the house wearing one (in my case).