Processing name change from trauma. Bipolar hypomania, PTSD.



My name is Xanthe Wyse. My former name is Miranda which was stolen from me. I avoid saying my former name. I got triggered around 9 minutes when I did. The tapping of my collarbone was subconscious and it was grounding me to keep me present rather than dissociating while I processed.

I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder (type 1) and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Started off dancing to Fame (Irene Cara) which I had bee listening to on a loop. It’s a song from my childhood. Lyrics say ‘remember my name’.

I am doing the final proof-reading stages of my novel, Pet Purpose before it is published as an e-book. A project 7 years in the making. A project that has kept me going. All the art was actually incidental towards the novel. Sequel is Soar Purpose which I will start after Pet Purpose is published.

Have been hypomanic lately including in this video. Hypomania is elevated mood that isn’t full mania. I am more productive and more creative in hypomania. It takes a toll after a while though as I have less sleep. I process as the mood states shift.

Source: Youtube