Why did they have to fuck me up so bad? Why did they have to make me into this thing? My PTSD is worse than ever and its only getting worse. My nightmares make me hurt you in my sleep. A random noise or an unexpected touch is all it takes to make me flashback. I thought that if I got stronger and learned to fight I wouldnt have to be scared anymore and it would all go away but at ths wnd of the day I’m still just the same fucking scared little boy and it’s only getting worse. I wish I’d never learned to fight because now I’m stuck knowing that when I snap I’m going to seriously hurt someone. I hate them! I hate them for making me into this monster!
There is nothing more torturous than completely and utterly passionately hating someone for what they’ve done to you and at the same time understanding every single thing.