Intense processing anger, PTSD. Rape, sexual assault, sexual abuse, sexual violence.



My name is Xanthe Wyse. Diagnosed bipolar disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

This video is intense. I cut up a sculpture I made while I processed as I didn’t fully express the emotion of anger as emotion (intense emotions is one of my biggest triggers, usually triggering a shut down). Doing something symbolic while I process helps express the emotion I won’t allow myself to fully feel as emotion.

I have the avoidance and shutdown presentation of PTSD. I am between shutdown and hyperarousal state in this video, processing. It is intense. I fully dissociated during rape trauma involving 3 people. That is why I changed my name.

Processing the anger and pain of dismissal. A trigger was someone supposedly in a role of advocacy claiming that rape is only done by men as penis in vagina. That is not true. In some places, the legal system is still backwards and also many victims and survivors of sexual violence and sexual violence are too traumatised to go through the legal system so never get justice.

The sculpture I cut up was called Survival Flight. It went into a community exhibition of bird-themed art from repurposed materials. Creating it was processing. Cutting up more processing. Often I keep cut up parts and use again in other process artworks.

There are outdated beliefs that rape is only by penis in vagina, cannot happen within marriage, cannot be by a woman, must involve force. When someone freezes and dissociates, they can no longer consent to sex.

An updated version of rape: “The penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim.”

Source: Youtube