Find support : through the NHS you can have access to many treatments and counselling , that can be very beneficial. Alternatively you can try to find counselling or other methods such as support groups , that can support you .
Choose the right parenting style : I’m not sure what kind of example you have had throughout your childhood so parenting can look very different to many people , so to avoid raising a child in a toxic environment I suggest you to watch my video :”Parenting Styles Authoritative” , it talks about a type of parenting that is nurturing and provides structure for your child.
Don’t over-share your feelings with your child: This might be a difficult one specially when you don’t have a support group , however this is when therapy plays an important role for you to be able to raise your child in a healthy environment . Over-sharing your feelings may lead to Parentification (Watch my video to find out more ) .
So Trauma doesn’t have to :
Define you forever : Your experience doesn’t have to define you forever. Becoming conscious of how things have impacted us , is very important there’s always a concept of you , that changes after you’ve experienced traumatic events. But even the one after the trauma can now change to a post trauma , so think about how you used to be before this traumatic event happened. What was your personality like? What things did you liked to do ? Try to re-discover your real self and start labelling , inner self doubt as lies, and re-affirm new things things.
Eg: If your mind is reminding you about the verbal abuse you’ve experienced and those phrases are playing on repeat, say to yourself Truth is I have an amazing child, I can provide amazing care I am striving things are going well. Affirm positive things always.
Define your relationship dynamic: Maybe due to trauma , you can’t help but to be negative towards those around you , or you scream and get angry and triggered and you still can’t regulate your emotions.
Change your dynamics , think about how would a healthy conversation look like ? How can I verbalize things to people in a healthy way ? How can i ask for help without screaming getting angry. Due to trauma there’s many things that trigger the memory , that might make us revisit our trauma BUT , having self awareness and taking a moment before we react to situations , can be the solution to a better dynamic in your parenting.
Your child: Your trauma doesn’t have to affect your child , as long as there are conscious decisions every day for self-improvement , where you actively try to find support to better cope with your emotions. Ensuring you provide a healthy environment , with nurture and love will also ensure your child can have a healthy childhood.
DISCLAIMER :CHILDRENWITHVALUE DOES NOT PROVIDE PROFESSIONAL HELP .WE ONLY SHARE INFORMATION FOR INFORMATIVE PURPOSES.
IN CASE OF TRAUMA PLEASE SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP , FROM YOUR NEAREST GP OR HELP FROM RELIABLE RESOURCES SUCH AS NHS.
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