Flying solo with disabilities. Processing slower with bipolar, PTSD.



My name is Xanthe Wyse. Diagnosed bipolar 1 disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), social anxiety disorder.

My first YouTube video since moving out of my parent’s home into a long-term boarding situation with my own room and communal bathroom and kitchen. Other boarders are semi-hermit crabs like me.

My processing is slower in this video and currently I am not able to drive. I am only able to drive short distances with restrictions and currently I am too impaired. Combination of exhaustion from a huge amount of stress from mood crash from mixed episode, lots of PTSD triggers and sedation from temporary adjustment meds. Even though I didn’t take the tranquiliser last night. I only use it very sparingly when need to. Was told to use it when phoned crisis line recently asking for advice when very distressed.

It’s actually noticeable to others that I am currently unsteady on my feet and struggling with cognitive function. I am very self-aware and know it’s not safe for me to drive. Fortunately, most of the stores I do work in are walking distance and even though I’m walking slower currently, I can still work one job (although slower). Everyone who knows has been very accommodating and kind.

Whereas some trolls have been nasty, accusing me of ‘attention-seeking to sell a book.’ Nope, this is real. This is what I live with. And my 7 years of effort isn’t going to be seen if I just hide under a rock. I don’t have loads of money for advertising.

Pet Purpose: Your Unspoken Voice has now been purchased in at least 8 countries (only know this because readers told me). Is a semi-autobiographical pet-themed story about a character who shares my diagnoses.

reviews of Pet Purpose:

Read chapter 1 of Pet Purpose FREE

When I have settled in and my brain and body have gotten back into some kind of equilibrium, I will continue writing more books. Also look at print-on-demand options for some of my artworks (as people keep asking).

A lot of people have asked me if I’m autistic. Someone in real life asked yesterday. Clinicians say I’m not but it looks similar on the outside. It’s the combination of my diagnoses and it fluctuates, which is why autism spectrum disorder (ASD) was ruled out for me.

Source: Youtube