Bipolar mixed mood, fight, standing up for oneself, conflict



My name is Xanthe Wyse. Diagnosed bipolar 1 disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Mood lately has been slightly elevated and a bit mixed. Partly with working on the memoir, which involves a lot of processing. I have been hibernating in my room (at the hostel). Been getting to sleep after 2am most of this week and snacking on carbs more (tends to go with mixed moods or mood crashes for me).

I managed to finally have a shower after 5pm then venture out to eat. Someone with a strong-willed and bossy personality picked a fight. This is exactly what happens with my mother when I am in the same mood state. When my mood is elevated, I am more likely to fight back instead of avoid. This can be quite a shock for others who underestimated me, as I will typically keep the peace.

I used to be very avoidant about conflict but an occasional fight with someone that otherwise get on well with can help clear the air. Turns out the other person was in a mood too. I felt blamed. Being blamed is one of my triggers. I fought back & resolved the situation without taking the blame.

I was shaking during it (the adrenaline from fight/flight) but managed to calm myself quickly and ate my dinner.

All groups have dynamics with whatever personalities are in the group.

Source: Youtube